Approvals: what the operator checks with you first
A card before a delete, a move, a send, or anything that leaves Roma.
Before the operator does something that is hard to undo, it stops and shows you a card in the chat: the exact action, the things it would touch, and a button. Deleting, moving items between lists, creating an automation, sending something in your name and anything that leaves Roma pause this way. Reading never asks. The card is the only question: the operator does not write "are you sure?" and wait for you to type yes.
What the card shows
The operator says in one line what it is about to do ("Deleting the three trip tasks."), and the card follows. The card is built from the action itself, never from the operator's words, so what it lists is what will run. Its question names the act ("Delete 3 tasks?", "Add 2 items to Reading?") and the items under it are the real ones, by title, each one a link so you can check it. The buttons are the act (Delete tasks, in red when it is destructive) and an X.
When you press the button it stays where it is, shows the pending word while the action runs ("Deleting") and settles on the outcome ("Deleted"). When you press the X, the card greys and the operator acknowledges in prose. Walking away counts as declining: if you type another message instead of answering, the card settles as declined and the action never runs, so a card can never go off hours later. One card can cover several actions, and it lists all of them. The same card shows on every device you are signed in on, and a decision on one settles it everywhere.
What asks by default
Moving items to another list.
Deleting items or a list. A deleted item or list stays recoverable for about 30 days, which is covered in deleted tasks, notes and lists.
Replacing the whole body of a task or note. This one always asks, whatever your settings, because it would overwrite every word in it. A rewrite of a passage you highlighted does not ask.
Removing a property from a list, or a type change that would lose values.
Importing tasks from a photo.
Creating an automation, or changing what a live one does. A pause, a rename or a new time does not ask. See create your own automation.
Creating an expert, or rewriting an expert's instructions.
Posting in a shared conversation under your name.
A browser run that may prepare a payment. See the operator's browser.
In a connected app: a send or a delete, such as sending an email from your Gmail or deleting a page in Notion. Reads in a connected app never ask.
Creating and editing items, setting dates, completing tasks and every kind of reading run without a card. There is one more exception you may notice: when the operator takes back something it made itself a moment ago in the same turn, say a task it created while adding something to a list, it removes it without asking. Anything you have kept or touched still gets the card.
Your settings
Open Settings and choose Permissions (on the Mac and in the browser, and on the iPhone). Every tool the operator can use is a row with its own choice:
Always allow runs the action without asking. You still see a record of what ran in the chat.
Ask first shows you the card with the exact action and waits for your approval.
Never removes the action from the operator's reach entirely. It cannot run and it never raises a card.
A read, such as finding items or searching, is fixed at Always allow and has no choice to make. The permissions for a connected app sit with that connection under Settings and Connections, grouped by what the operator would do there: reading, creating, editing, deleting and sending. Each group has the same three choices.
Turning approval off removes the question, never the record. Every write the operator makes still leaves a line in the chat saying what ran, with a link to the thing it touched, so you can read later what was sent or changed even when you were not asked.
In a shared conversation
On a shared task or note, the card belongs to the person whose message the operator answered. Only they can answer it, on whichever device they like, and everyone else sees it settle. Something that would leave Roma, such as a message sent to someone outside it, asks there whatever your private setting says. The whole picture is in agents and automations on shared items.
Questions people ask
What happens if I ignore a card?
The action never runs. A card the conversation moves past settles as declined, with its buttons disabled, and the card stays in the chat as a record of what was offered. Ask again if you want it done after all.
Can I make the operator ask before every change?
Yes. In Settings under Permissions, set Create items and Edit items to Ask first, and every create and every edit will pause on a card. Most people leave those on Always allow, because an edit to an item is one tap to undo and the card would slow down the ordinary back and forth.
Can I stop the operator from deleting anything at all?
Yes. Set Delete items and Delete list to Never. The operator then has no way to delete, and it will tell you so when you ask for a delete rather than raise a card.
Does the operator ever ask "are you sure?" in the chat?
No. A question in prose is reserved for a genuine "which one?", such as two tasks matching the one you named. Confirmation always takes the shape of a card, so you can see exactly what will run before it does.